Time to Make Something of Myself

I’ve had this domain for years now, and I’ve just begun to do something of any consequence with it. In any case, I hope it will be fruitful.

Throughout my life I’ve gone through up’s and down’s and I’ve noticed a pattern of half-way dreaming. I come up with some grand idea of what my life might look like if I were doing exactly what I wanted to do, make a few preparations and even move forward in my plans. Then I shut myself down. That voice of doubt┬ámagnifies in my head until I’m back to trudging along with “reasonable” expectations. There are two things that make me hope that this endeavor in my songwriting career is different:

  1. My beliefs, or lack thereof, have gone through a monumental metamorphosis since leaving the faith of my birth. Though I’ve come to accept that not knowing what comes next isn’t the end of the world, the idea of finality at death has awakened an urgency in me to live as I’ve never lived and love as I’ve never loved. It makes me determined to leave some kind of mark on the world that could make it a better place for my kids in some small way, and to leave them some inspiration to live life beautifully.
  2. As a lover of science and evidence, I’ve had to face the fact that my idea of rationality was being tainted by my conditioning. We’re told which careers are more stable, which paths are less risky. And in the context of greater society, there is a voice of reason there. But if you weigh in other factors such as persistence and volume of your efforts, dreams don’t seem terribly unreasonable. If I write enough songs, one or two of them are bound to take off. Plus, I really do have many skills and resources at my disposal that are incredibly conducive to the industry.

Now, if I could just quit the analyzing, and just forge onward! In any case, I’m glad you’re here with me, whoever you are.

Let’s make music.